Even Buddy Can Pretty Much Wipe His Own Butt

If you don't mind humoring me, please read this with a David Duffield or Phil Ligget accent.


Noah and I rolling with the local madness today. No real attacks, but it was still a tough pace. For the first part of the ride there were about 30-40 people with about 4-5 of them doing the pace making. Noah was one of them.

Now and again someone would get in the pace line, let Noah take his pull, but then not come through. It's frustrating, but not maddening, since there's no category requirement or obligation to do any work. heck, I've had plenty of days where I just sat on the back of these things and rolled in. just wanted company or something. But when you see your 12year old get stuck on the front when racer types are sitting in behind him, it feels good on one hand and makes me think about just how sissy some bike riders/racers can be. I'm not worried about that with Noah at all.

He got caught out of position when we went into a cross wind. The whole group was on the yellow line or over, and Noah went into the left lane with 6 or 7 other folks. I let him do it for about 3/4 of a second before I barked at him.

I did a pretty good job of keeping him in my pocket and not losing much ground on the group for this few mile stretch. Noah pulled through to help me out. This is a milestone, I think, because now I'm not just pacing and pushing him, but we're working it together.

He pulled through, and the guy behind him, who'd we'd been pulling along for about 3 miles, tried to jump across to the leaders. The guy behind him wouldn't come through and stuck Noah on the front and me behind. Ugh. I came around and took up the pace. Told Noah to just sit on. We no longer have to discuss what is going to happen next, because whenever someone jumps Noah after sitting on his wheel, we're going to drop them. No matter what.

So we did.

With some luck (train crossing) we caught the leaders. Noah worked his way back to 3rd or 4th in line and held his spot well. We stayed with things until Hilltop, picking up some riders along the way who either shortcutted or were just out riding and jumped in with us. Unfortunately, two of those guys were in front of Noah and were gapped by the group on the steepest part of the hill.

We tried and tried to fight back to the leaders. I'd pull as long as I could, and then I'd give Noah all the shove I had to see if he couldn't get close enough to finish it by himself.

He'd get really close, fade, then blow. I'd catch back up and we'd do it again. And again. And again. And again. We were fighting for it. No talking at all, just doing everything we could to get back with the leaders. Being dropped isn't fun, but we hadn't given up, and the fight was fun.

Meanwhile, I've got three jokers sitting on my wheel through all of this. I shove Noah, come to a near standstill, and the guy behind me says, "Whoa!". He's right. I didn't even check to see if anyone was there. But from that point on, I'm sprinting to catch Noah, pacing him for 30seconds or so, and then shoving him again. And again. And again (I know, we've covered this). And these guys are sitting on my wheel through all the surges and everything.

During this, one guy keeps saying, "Me next." "Me next." "Me next." He was referring to getting a shove. First of all, ask. Second of all, if you are really concerned, how about helping out a little? Third, don't fuggin grab my jersey pocket. And certainly don't do it and stop pedaling. "Me next" was only funny the first time you said it, and at that, it was only a little funny. When you grabbed my jersey, this very nearly became a blog about my second fight in two weeks, but I don't feel like reading on TXBRA about I now have anger management issues. that's why you could chew your lunch normally today. The TXBRA forum saved your life.

Trying to find my inner nice guy, I conceed and give this guy a shove too. I'm thinking that he's hanging on and maybe if I can help him a little more (as if pulling him for the last 10 miles wasn't enough), maybe we can catch the leaders. So I give him a shove. he stops pedaling while I'm accelerating. Then he...grabs his brakes!

Noah is up the road fading. I've got hardly anything in the tank, and now I have this. So I try again thinking that maybe he was just a little freaked by the acceleration. He starts coasting again, as if I'm going to push him all the way up to the leaders. Frustrated, I just shove him forward anyway with all I have. full gym rat grunt and the whole bit. He bridges up to Noah. And then attacks around him. He almost got across to the group.

One of the jokers left behind me jumps and tries to get across. Then another follows him. I sprained my neck shaking my head.

When I caught up to Noah, I told him that we were going to beat these guys (the finish line was about 6 miles away at this point). He asked "why" and I told him I'd explain later.

I set the pace. about a minute later Noah started to come around. I told him it wasn't necessary and that I wanted him to sit on and that I'd time it for the sprint.

Well, that didn't work. About a mile later we come to the Old Alton Hill and had caught these guys already. Noah attacked. they brought him back. He attacked again. They brought him back again. He attacked again. This went on until 2 miles to go. at that point Noah attacked and they cracked. There was a guy up the road dropped from the leaders and Noah caught up to him. They worked together. I just barely got across to them.

Noah and this guy were trading grown up pulls. Noah didn't even hesitate to slide in front of me, letting me sit out the rotation.

With 400m, Noah attacked again and stayed away across the line.

Noah is off to Pine Cove tomorrow for summer camp. that'll give some of these guys a week off from being pounded by a 12 year old.