Never Quit

Memory Ln.

Don't blink

fall is here, hear the yell
back to school, ring the bell
brand new shoes, walking blues
climb the fence, book and pens
i can tell that we are gonna be friends

walk with me, suzy lee
through the park, by the tree
we will rest upon the ground
and look at all the bugs we've found
then safely walk to school
without a sound

well here we are, no one else
we walked to school all by ourselves
there's dirt on our uniforms
from chasing all the ants and worms
we clean up and now it's time to learn

numbers, letters, learn to spell
nouns, and books, and show and tell
at playtime we will throw the ball
back to class, through the hall
teacher marks our height against the wall

and we don't notice any time pass
we don't notice anything
we sit side by side in every class
teacher thinks that i sound funny
but she likes the way you sing

tonight i'll dream while i'm in bed
when sill thoughts go through my head
about the bugs and alphabet
and when i wake tomorrow i'll bet
that you and i will walk together again
cause i can tell that weare going to be friends

--White Stripes, we're going to be friends

No guarantees

One of the big risks of letting people know you are pregnant early on in the pregnancy is that the risks of losing the baby are the greatest in the early part of the pregnancy, and then if that does happen, everyone gets let in on that too. We know better, really, but in all the surprise, we were excited and wanted to share that excitement with everyone too. We're not sure if we're going to keep trying at this point. Of course, we weren't really trying in the first place.
Right now it feels a bit like a great party and nasty hangover.

First, I'm gonna take a nap

Reanie scored a couple goals. I got all teary eyed when she gave her victory salute.
Noah crashed within a few miles of the finish and DNF'd.
He raced the next day and won.
He was too sore to ride all week.
Buddy told me I grabbed the wrong keys when I grabbed the keys to the Toyota instead of the Jeep. He was right.
I got real busy with the weekend's (just past) race promoting.
Found out the baby is due in May.
Promoted some races this weekend.
Reanie scored a goal in her game I missed because I was in a parking lot with bike racers instead.
Noah won his race.
Reanie came with me to the bike race in Downtown Denton (to help).
Noah crashed much harder in this one. Finished anyway. 3rd. Went to ER. Nothing broken, but he ain't moving to good, is in a sling, and has bandages on most of his body.

It's been an eventful 7 days. But I really, really need a rest. Kept waking up in a sweat last night thinking "Oh, Crap! I have to...", but I couldn't think of what the thing was I had to do.

Bumps and bruises

Re-posting the thing about being bumped by the car started a side conversation about the most recent bump I felt.

Here's today :

No, ROF May, those aren't stretch marks.














This was about June 14 (the bruise is on the right. Cami is on the left):

What Reanie Learned at School Yesterday

Setting: Breakfast table Friday morning at Stella Sola. Noah, Buddy, Reanie and Jordan at the table eating toast. Daddy is in the kitchen putting lunches together.

Reanie: Daddy, do you know what I learned at school yesterday?

Daddy: No, Honey. What did you learn?

Reanie: That 4th graders are TALL!

Daddy: They are?

Reanie: Yes! Not up to the sky tall, though.

Daddy: Ah.

Buddy, Do you want some more toast?

Buddy: Yeth.

Daddy: What kind of toast do you want?

Buddy: Chok-o-let. (pause for several seconds) And budder.

It is just another day, but then again it's not.

a few days ago I was reminded that September 13 marks two years. In some ways it seems like a lot longer ago, but in other ways it feels like it could have been last month. anyway, that was a crappy few days. things are getting better still. but they are getting better.

Wooombpf

Howdy,

Hard o be entertaining because it is difficult to type, me head hurts, and it is about time for some more of these fine, fine meds. But here’s what I’ve managed to peck out…

While out for a mid-afternoon one hour spin, I was hit from behind by a motorist. It was straight up, plain and simple, an accident. I wasn’t the target of an angry driver or someone who was trying to brush me back or whatever. Not sure how fast he was going, but this is a 50-60 mph road.

I was heading southwest on Country Club Road in Argyle at about 1:45-2pm. I was very near the right edge of the road with my tires on or very near the white line, which is customarily where I ride. My habit is not to take up much of the lane, as I prefer to give motorist as much room to pass as possible. I understand some folks may feel they should take p more of their lane for safety, visibility, and to force motorists to pass in the other lane only when safe. But I prescribe to the idea that I want to be the least nuisance possible, since I live in the area and these are essentially my neighbors.

I was caught by the front fender and mirror of the car. My body took the blow. I spent a little time on the windshield and top of the car before dismounting into the nicely groomed ditch. Fortunately I missed the pavement.

The initial hit was sudden and unexpected. My best recollection (and so far, very much recurring) is the sound of “wooompb” as I was being hit, and my vision growing quickly black with a light growing rapidly smaller and smaller to the size of a pin hole while spinning, sort of like what I remember seeing in the Batman shows as a kid. That sound was the same sound you hear when cars hit each other.

My next glimpse of memory is being in the air in a “flying” position over the car and looking down into the windshield and seeing the driver’s hands on the wheel. At that point I don’t remember much except for thinking “I got hit and I’m probably dead.”

My next memory is hitting the ground, then a blank time, and then landing on my back and hitting the back of my head. I went out for a spell (I don’t know how long). I do remember thinking as the lights went out again that I hoped I wasn’t in the middle of a multi-car accident and that I could just end up where I ended up without having to deal with cars on me.

I couldn’t feel anything when I came to from that,. My thoughts were that I was either dead or that I was in such shock that I wasn’t feeling anything. I tried to do an inventory of body parts, but I couldn’t feel anything. I could hear my middle child saying names of the parts of the body as I checked to see if they were still attached.

Everything was very fuzzy and moving in a haze. Sort of like what the Young Guns were seeing when they took the peyote. But I wasn’t taking peyote.

The motorist stopped and tried to help me up as I was trying to get up. I wasn’t altogether with it, but came to very quickly when he grabbed my left elbow to help me up. Alarm clocks don’t seem so bad now.

He asked if he could take me to the hospital, and he was extremely apologetic. Looking back now, I can say that he was in shock himself. Another motorist then stopped and asked whose fault it was. The man who hit me said, “Unfortunately, it was mine (meaning himself).”

I looked at my phone to see what time it was, and I realized that I needed to get home quickly since I had to pick up Kid #1 from school. I asked the man to take me home instead. Mind you, I wasn’t entirely with it, and neither was he, which is why we didn’t call police. He asked me several times if he shouldn’t just take me to the hospital.

So, we piled my bike into his trunk, I called Chloe on the way home and asked her to meet me there, and the guy drove me home in what was the most harrowing 10 miles I’ve ever been in a car. He was a mess just out of being scared. Wrong side of the road, driving 15 mph, pulling out into traffic, etc.

While sitting in his car, the list of damage to me was being rung up. My shoulder and ribs were giving me the most pain, but my hips, back, jaw and elbow were close behind.

I asked the driver to stay with me at the house until Chloe arrived, which he did without hesitation.

Once Chloe arrived, she got his name, license number and all that. It occurred to me that we should have a picture of his car showing the damage, and she took that. Once certain she had enough information from him, she sent him on his way, and then we went to pick up Noah (kid #1) and then went to the emergency room.

With nothing poking out of me, it took awhile to be tended at the emergency, but I was seen. Was x-rayed (not kidding) about 40 times, and I had a CT scan done to check for internal damage.

Damage to me-
Dislocated right shoulder
Broken left elbow
Rib “damage” primarily on the left side, but the right got some too.
Concussion
General pain in teeth (all), jaw, back, neck, hips, left knee, and right ankle


Damage to bike-
Broken right seat stay
Trashed Powertap rear
Broken saddle
Don’t know if anything else yet.


I’ve pretty much stayed in bed since getting home Tuesday night. I can’t roll over on my own, and I need assistance sitting up. However, as of last night, I could get up the stairs if I took my time. All that said, with the pain meds and muscle relaxants, I don’t feel much like getting up anyway. There’s a nice supply of DVD’s being played on my laptop. Typing notes is a painful process since I can only one-hand it, and that hand is connected to a shoulder that isn’t working so well.

Anyway, as I told my teammates, y’all don’t know anyone luckier than me. I want to thank everyone for the thoughts, prayers and vibes. Mostly I want to thank my wife, Chloe, who has had to really pick up the slack. With three kids here (10yr, 3yr, and almost 2yr), she’s had her hands full. Noah has been a huge help in taking care of the little ones, getting stuff for me, and making sure he was cared for himself. I want to thank Andrew and Stephanie Hassan for watching and feeding kids #2 and 3 while I was in the hospital. I want to thank David for kicking butt at the last Tuesday Nighter in Plano. I’d like to thank the athletes I work with for understanding. I also want to thank all of those who have sent notes and “get well” wishes and offers to help. And I’d like to thank my teammates who knew just how much to joke and how much to care.

I'll risk going it alone

After dropping everyone off at school, I was mindlessly listening to the radio during the drive home to work.

I was too lazy to lift a finger to change the channel when a commercial played. So there I was listening to a pitch about a program from New York Life. They said something along the lines of there being a guarantee that I wouldn't outlive my money.

that may be well and good. It is a perfectly prudent thing to make sure you have enough money to live while you are living. But for the life of me, my first impression was that once my money got low, New York Life would kill me. Guaranteed.

"Daddy, please take my picture before my soccer race"

Almost got me

I commented about seeing parents cry on the first day of school. Almost got me today.

Reanie has been 5 years old for less than month. She's at the young end of things at her school and in her class. She's my only little girl.

This morning, while eating breakfast, she told me she wanted me to drop her off with the other big kids instead of walking her into school. I expected that I'd have to walk her to her class for a couple of weeks, at least. Mind you, just about every kindergartner has parents walking them into school and to class, and frankly, I'm not sure if Reanie can find her class on her own. I still don't know, now that I think about it.

But she was convincing. Of course, not having to park, unload Buddy, and all of us make the hike inside, and then hike back to the jeep isn't something I want as part of my morning, but I do like that time when we are all together chatting.

So this morning (an hour ago as I write), I waited in the line of cars, inching up one car length at a time, that was equivalent to the time it takes for a parent to get their kid out, put on a back pack, say good-bye, remember the lunch box or money, then say good-bye again. For eleventy-million cars.

Screw that.

Reanie, tired of sitting and waiting for everyone get out, asked if she could go ahead and get out of the jeep. I couldn't think of a reason why she had to wait until we pulled up to the front of the school, so I said, "Sure."

She unbuckled her seatbelt, hopped out (normally, she needs help out of the jeep), grabbed her backpack, slipped it on herself, told me to have a good day, blew me a kiss, and shut the door.

All pretty cute, right? I think so.

But where she got me all choked up is when she took off running for school then. Her size 10.5 feet pitter-patting as fast as she can go while wearing Keds and a backpack that is way too big. She looked so tiny. My baby girl. She couldn't be running to school. We weren't pressed for time, and I wasn't on anyone's case about hurrying. She just wanted to run and get there.

I lost sight of her quick, though I tried to look through and over the 20 cars ahead of us. I can only assume she made it to the front door, and from there I can only assume she made it to her classroom. But that little pitter pat run with her backpack darn near as big as her...my memory forever.

We got through the line of cars, and started working our way to the highway towards Buddy's school. He told me to turn right, which was actually correct. I made the turn, and he told me, "Good job, Daddy."

It isn't even 9am yet, and I've had a GREAT day.

Welcome Home, Troy

I'll stop chasing you down now.

Seriously, thank you. It means a lot to me.

2 of 3

First day of school in these parts. Noah is now in 6th grade, so he's off to a new campus, and Reanie started kindergarten this morning.

Buddy and I took Reanie in to school. The line waiting for the doors to open was at least 400yards long. Parents everywhere with video cameras filming every second of standing in this line.

At 7:40 the doors opened, so the parents either filmed the kids from behind as they slowly marched in line to the school, or they walked backwards, filming their kids from the front as they slowly marched into school. So many videos are going to have a script that reads, "oops, sorry" as parents walking backwards filming run in to parents walking forward filming.

We were sans camera and just talked about big school, what was in the lunch box, our phone number, and whatever Buddy picked up off the ground to show us.

I was surprised to see so many parents crying. For a second, I almost felt bad that I wasn't. Am I doing something wrong? Am I supposed to be sad? Are these tears of joy? Or maybe it was the shirt I was wearing that said, "2 down, 1 to go. Day care is expensive."

Reanie settled into her classroom fine. We'd just been there on Friday, so it didn't seem all that new to her. She seemed excited about being there, but she did seem suddenly older. Not really any baby left in her. If you blink, you'll miss it.

With Reanie secured, I took Buddy to his preschool. It was the first time I can remember taking him to school all by his lonesome. He didn't seem any different about it. If anything, he was more chipper than normal, but that is probably because we'd eased into our day, whereas in the past I let them sleep until the last second, threw them in the Jeep and dumped them off at preschool.

today, though, he "read" his Thomas book to me, and every time he needed to turn the page, he handed me his toy plane, turned the page, then took the toy back. As we pulled into the parking lot, he said, "Bye plane. Bye Thomas. Bye book," and set them down on the floor board.

Most days he starts out grumpy at school, but today he was ready to go.

One in middle school, one in kindergarten, and one on deck. Ok, Buddy will be two more years before kindergarten, but still...divide and conquer.

...

Teammates are sorting out what categories they are racing at an upcoming race nearby. Some want to race their ability-based categories, and some want to race in their age group. The age group races are easier for me. And I was tempted to go that way seeing as I haven't raced since I dismounted abruptly, but I've got a kid in middle school now, and I'm not ready to be old.

ROF May, sign me up for the p,1,2's. I'll take it like a man.

Becky Rode Her Bike in France...

...a little bit.

Congratulations, Becky!

She just completed the historic Paris-Brest-Paris. 1200K (about 750 miles). Oh, and she did it in about 90 hours. The drop out rate was massive this year. I've read that it was as much as 40%.

But Becky fought it out and did it. I'd have to get all bike geek to talk about the event and what it took to qualify, but the fact is that she made it. She rode 200K in 26 deg temps and rain. She injured her knee had we had to get real creative about getting through the 300K, 400K and 600K qualifiers, which all had to be done by the end of May to make it to P-B-P. But she did it.

This was a case of 1% coaching advice and 99% Becky is a Bad Ass.

We are so proud of you Becky!

Make a "T", Daddy

We've been enjoying an A frame beach house in slow Surfside, TX since last Friday. It has been our first honest-to-goodness vacation in years. Sure, we've had some getaways down to the farm for long weekends and visits out to Big Bend, but I've never really been off work or anything like that.

But this has been play time, and it has been good. The waves have been great! So good, in fact, that we've actually got scrapes from when we timed our body surfing or body boarding efforts. We'll need to thank the two storms that have been around us (the Gulf) and not actually hit us.

While things have been tight ($) on the homefront lately, we'd already paid for this place, so we've just ate in, surfed, surfed some more, played in the sand, napped, surfed some more, and then after dinner, surfed some more. And this place has cable (we don't at home), so we've fried our brains too. Noah and I rode a few days getting him back on the bike after taking a couple weeks completely off. We all (Mama, Noah, Jordan, Noah and me) rode one of those surrey bike things with Reanie and Buddy in the front jump seat. We picked up Reanie a back pack for school at Col. Bubbies. We ate ice cream at the candy shop on the strand. Reanie and Buddy basically learned to swim here.

I still had to work a bit, most of it today. A tiny bit of TXBRA stuff, some race promoting stuff, and actual work emails and a few training plans, but all in all, it has been the most relaxing extended time we've had in so long.

After submitting this, I'll go for my last swim on this trip, we'll clean up the house, hit the sack and head back home first thing in the morning. Reanie has meet-the-teacher night at school tomorrow evening, and seeing that this is Kindergarten for her, we have to make that one.

We brought the camera, but I've been so busy with actually making memories, I didn't record much at all. However, Buddy has burned in a good memory, mostly because he does this 10 or 12 times per day.

"Make a 'T', Daddy."

He knows he can't go out to the beach without sunscreen, and that's how he stands when getting slathered. You'll know he wants to go to the beach or go swim when he's talking about making a "T". I know it is getting late, but I think I'll sign off here and get him to go make a "T". There's some kids and six+ foot waves calling my name.

Reanie's soccer race

Reanie started her first season of soccer on Tuesday. They play 3 on 3, it is a girls team, it is all very cute. The shin guards, the cleats, and everyone with a pink soccer ball.

The few days leading to the first practice had Reanie really excited. We've kicked the ball around some, but we never got around to goals, defense or anything like that, but she picked it up pretty quick.

She's super cute in her soccer outfit and her enthusiasm, but to make sure we keep it in perspective, she kept asking, "When is my soccer race?" "What time is my soccer race?"

Buon Compleanno

Kid #1 is 12 years old today. That 11yr old year was a pretty good one to lead out the 12th.

Only Chloe's Flight...

...because my flight would have had gas cans filled up from when gas was $2.29/gallon.

Mama went to see Apple Granny for a couple days in Tennessee. Flew in, visited, flew home.

The hiccup was the return flight that had a layover in Houston. Plane lands, probably a transfer involved, and then...a delay. Thursday night, 7pm flight from Houston to Dallas, I think it is reasonable to expect that the people on that flight were planning to be home sooner rather than later.

But nope. Turns out that the plane was out of gas and the plane gas filler up people didn't have the right voucher from Southwest to just pull up to the pump and take care of it. So they had to sit and wait.

Buddy and I (Reanie stayed the night with her cousin Anelise. No, they aren't really cousins, but it was easier to explain to them that they were than to try to explain why they aren't sisters if they are both sisters to Noah. But I digresss.) head out to the airport at 10:00pm instead. Picked up Mama at 11:00 and were still home on Thursday, so it wasn't all that late.

Good to have Mama home. I think the kids were tired of having grits for breakfast and dinner.

Buon Compleano (yesterday)

This is a shot of Reanie at her Princess Birthday Party yesterday. 5 years old!

Most mornings...well, today anyway.

Most mornings I'm up before everyone here. I wander into my office, stoke the LCD fire to glow up the room and sit there all stupid until I hear the coffee machine signal that it is ready.

after a few minutes of clearing cobwebs and pretty much working on autopilot, things come into focus and I start knocking things off of the "to do" list properly. Then one of the pet monkeys will wake up and stand next to me for awhile.

At that point I either stop what I'm doing and have a tickle fight or tell them to crawl into bed with Mama. sometimes Reanie wants to sit in my lap while I work on training plans or answer email. When Buddy does that I usually end up losing the training plan or whatever I've been working on, so he's not allowed to have his fingers within two feet of my keyboard. Otherwise his rear end starts to hurt.

Today has worked out a bit different, as Mama is taking the day off from work, so she took the kids to school this morning instead. No, don't call it school. call it "Kiddie Barn" or Buddy will get upset with you. School. School. School.

This means me and Noah will ride for about an hour, finishing just in time for me to motorpace Christina. After that I'll grab some lunch, work on a training plan, answer an email or six, visit with Lisa for a moment to make sure we are sending Noah to camp with shorts AND udnerwear instead of twice as many shorts as needed and no skivvies, then motorpace Troy, then meet with two clients prior to the KoW ride, then ride the KoW myself if I have any juice left.

Ok, the part about riding twice today isn't like most days at all. But I'll take it.